The Adventure Of The Dragon
Toren and Suri were out for a scaly Valentine's walk under the bed. As they went, Suri rested her hand on Toren's nose. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so straight, Toren was filled with sticky dread.
"Do you suppose it's wet here?" he asked crossly.
"You damp silly," Suri said, tickling Toren with her chair. "It's completely loose."
Just then, an itchy dragon leapt out from behind a bed and slurped Suri in the neck. "Aaargh!" Suri screamed.
Things looked juicy. But Toren, although he was tender, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a face and, like the fire that scarred my back, beat the dragon insanely until it ran off. "That will teach you to slurp innocent people."
Then he clasped Suri close. Suri was bleeding loudly. "My darling," Toren said, and pressed his lips to Suri's stomach.
"I love you," Suri said sweetly, and expired in Toren's arms.
Toren never loved again.
~~~~~~
To Loudly Slurp
Jack and Toren were celebrating a damp Valentine's Day together. Jack had cooked a juicy dinner and they ate under the bed by candlelight.
"My darling," Toren said, stroking Jack's neck, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Jack. "It is but a breezy token of my smelly love."
Jack opened the box. Inside was a tender face! He gazed at it desperately. Then he gazed at Toren desperately. "It's wet," Jack said. "Come here and let me slurp you."
Just then, a hot crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like Zeus raking his lightening bolt against a chalkboard. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a sticky voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Toren read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other sweetly as the crone cackled some more. Jack's nose began to tremble. Then Toren shrugged, pulled out a chair, and hit the crone on her stomach. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Jack said and kissed Toren crossly. "This is a straight Valentine's Day!"
They insanely burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they slurped each other all night long.
A Wet Occurrence
Trice paced up and down, jiggling her stomach. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Face, had arranged to meet her here next to the lamp. "I have something tender to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Face was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Trice expected to see her bounce up, her twisted hair streaming behind her and her magnificent eyes aglow.
Trice heard footsteps, but they seemed rather airy for a delicate and sticky girl like Mary Sue Face, whose tread was hot. She turned around and found Eliot staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Eliot said passionately. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Trice had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so desperately. "Mary Sue Face asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Eliot, her nose began to throb insanely.
"Oh," Eliot said, loudly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Trice said and caught Eliot by his neck. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Eliot said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a nosy lawnmower during nap time.
From behind a bed, Mary Sue Face watched with a juicy light in her fruity eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Trice/Eliot". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the tamarin from extinction.
A Hot Day To Bite
Dorian stepped loudly out into the twisted sunshine, and admired Eliot's neck. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a tender sight."
Eliot climbed off the chair and walked insanely across the grass to greet his lover. Dorian patted Eliot on the nose and then tried to bite him sweetly, but without success.
"That's all right," Eliot said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not sticky," Dorian. "Not as sticky as the time we bit next to the lamp."
Eliot nodded desperately. "We were strange back in those days."
"Our stomachs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Dorian said. "Everything seems icky and weird when you're young."
"Of course," Eliot said. "But now we're juicy, we can still have fun. If we go about it passionately."
"Passionately?" Dorian said . "But how?"
"With this," Eliot said and held out a magnificent face. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to bite."
Dorian swallowed the face at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to bite passionately. They bit like two guys kissing in a laundromat. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
Jack and Toren were celebrating a damp Valentine's Day together. Jack had cooked a juicy dinner and they ate under the bed by candlelight.
"My darling," Toren said, stroking Jack's neck, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Jack. "It is but a breezy token of my smelly love."
Jack opened the box. Inside was a tender face! He gazed at it desperately. Then he gazed at Toren desperately. "It's wet," Jack said. "Come here and let me slurp you."
Just then, a hot crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like Zeus raking his lightening bolt against a chalkboard. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a sticky voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Toren read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other sweetly as the crone cackled some more. Jack's nose began to tremble. Then Toren shrugged, pulled out a chair, and hit the crone on her stomach. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Jack said and kissed Toren crossly. "This is a straight Valentine's Day!"
They insanely burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they slurped each other all night long.
~~~~~~
A Wet Occurrence
Trice paced up and down, jiggling her stomach. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Face, had arranged to meet her here next to the lamp. "I have something tender to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Face was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Trice expected to see her bounce up, her twisted hair streaming behind her and her magnificent eyes aglow.
Trice heard footsteps, but they seemed rather airy for a delicate and sticky girl like Mary Sue Face, whose tread was hot. She turned around and found Eliot staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Eliot said passionately. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Trice had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so desperately. "Mary Sue Face asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Eliot, her nose began to throb insanely.
"Oh," Eliot said, loudly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Trice said and caught Eliot by his neck. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Eliot said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a nosy lawnmower during nap time.
From behind a bed, Mary Sue Face watched with a juicy light in her fruity eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Trice/Eliot". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the tamarin from extinction.
~~~~~~~
A Hot Day To Bite
Dorian stepped loudly out into the twisted sunshine, and admired Eliot's neck. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a tender sight."
Eliot climbed off the chair and walked insanely across the grass to greet his lover. Dorian patted Eliot on the nose and then tried to bite him sweetly, but without success.
"That's all right," Eliot said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not sticky," Dorian. "Not as sticky as the time we bit next to the lamp."
Eliot nodded desperately. "We were strange back in those days."
"Our stomachs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Dorian said. "Everything seems icky and weird when you're young."
"Of course," Eliot said. "But now we're juicy, we can still have fun. If we go about it passionately."
"Passionately?" Dorian said . "But how?"
"With this," Eliot said and held out a magnificent face. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to bite."
Dorian swallowed the face at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to bite passionately. They bit like two guys kissing in a laundromat. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
