Omake, Part 2

It's Ladies' Night at the "Et tu, Brute" Karaoke Bar and Grill!

Jime tossed her third drink in a row back wishing the burn of the alcohol could just kill her now. A frown wrinkled Suri’s nose. “Someone should tell him that performance was a hot mess,” she sipped the one drink she’d been nursing all night.

“Ha!” Jime pushed the glass away. “Sexy bartender. Hit me.”

“Another one already?” He tossed over his shoulder.

“If you sit the bottle here, I’ll love you for eternity.”

Pulling the bottle from the shelf and sitting it in front of them, he tossed the bar cloth over his shoulder and leaned one hip against the counter. “I had a vampire love me before.”

“Truly?” Suri perked with interest. 

He nodded.

“And how’d that turn out?”

“Bloody.”

“What’s the point of love without blood.” Jime stated. 

Sexy bartender smiled and turned away to tend to the other guess.

“Shame that Jack is willing to draw your blood for his car. Weirdo.”

“Ha! That man has always been stupid, will always be stupid, and from the looks of it is dragging the lizard into his stupidity.” A wicked smile crossed Jime’s lips as Toren stepped onto stage. “I can’t wait.”

Mousy guy grabbed the mic. “Our next singer—“

Suri looked at the sexy bartender. “I’ll give you two grand if you spirit arrow the dragon.”

“—has dedicated this one to,” Mousy turned away to read the name on the slip. “Glinda the Good Witch.”

“Make it 10 grand,” Suri said deadpanned. 

“I’ll revoke my declaration of love if you do nothing,” Jime added her bid in.”

“Deal,” S.B slapped his palm on the counter in front of Jime.

Up on stage, Toren took the mic and turned his back to the crowd of fangirls who would love nothing more than to sex his scales as the music started to play.

Uh huh, listen boy.
My first love story  

“Son of a bitch!” Suri exclaimed. Gee by SNDS. SNSD. Whatever the hell that crappy band name was. Of all freaking songs in the world. 

My angel and my girls

My sunshine
Oh, oh let’s go!

Seated at an odd angle, Suri pointed a finger at the stage just as the first verse started and mumbled “tace.” Toren opened his mouth to sing. Nothing. He opened again. Nothing came out. Bright eyes snapped to her location at the bar. A smug smile formed. 

“No fair!” Jime punched her arm. “Why didn’t you do that when that douche bag was up there singing to his car of all things?”

Suri slipped off the seat. “Because~,” she sat back down glaring at her aunt. “Unlike you, I’m only 24 and have yet to learn how to live with such embarrassment. Could you imagine what would have happened to me if I let him sing that shitty song.” She looked back at the stage and shuddered. “I’d just die!”

Jime rolled her eyes and turned to S. B. “The youth these days. Such pansies.” 

ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ

Conversations with Geniuses.

He was human. He was dragon. Both had their perks. Humans had thumbs and Toren learned that there were many things you could do with thumbs, many places you could stick them, and with a simple wiggle shattered another to the core. He loved his thumbs. He had plans for those thumbs.

*I cuts in* Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop. Stop…What are you going to do with your thumbs?

*Toren grins cheekly*

Me: Oh. Oh. Ew! You are nasty.  I don’t think I want to write about you using those thumbs to jerk off River’s ass

Toren: WHAT? *Fire blows from nose*

Me: I mean. Really? Not only is he a guy, he’s dragon guy, so you’re going to have male dragon shit on your hands. Ew! I don’t think Witch Suri will let you touch her with those shitty talons

*Toren blows a fireball at her feet*

*Me jumps away and laughs* Behave Big Lizard.

Toren: Big Lizard?

Me: Oh. You don’t know?

Toren: Know what?

Me: So you haven’t heard.

*Impaitent* Heard what?

Me: About the bird. *Sings* Because everybody’s heard that the bird is the word. About the bird bird bird, the bird is the word. *Lmao.* Shitty Talons. I have to include that in the story later. 

Toren: What else are you going to include in this story

*Grins* Trying to find out if River gets his for that snitch speech?

*Toren does his charm boy smile: No.Yes!

Me: Why should I tell you? What’s in it for me.

*Toren thinks for a moment.* Actually, nothing. Nothing is in it for you. 

*Headdesk* You could AT THE VERY LEAST lie to me.

*Toren shrugs* You get a very happy Dragon

Me: I can get a very happy dragon if I write it so…

*Toren puppy dog pout*

Me: Stop before I call the Kennel.

Toren: I’ll just shift to the dragon…

Me: And I’ll kill you off

Toren: And Jime will bring me back

Me: No she won’t. 

*Confident* Yes she will. She’s the one that made me the vampire’s niece’s mate in the first place. You wrote me in as an enemy

*I nod* True…but that doesn’t mean she’ll write you back in once I kill you off.

Toren: I’m immortal. I can’t die-

Me: By normal means, but you’ve forgotten one thing.

Toren: What?

Me: I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. I always manage to get myself out of impossibly difficult situations no matter how tired and cliche they are. savvy. 

*Toren sighs* You…you are something else.

*Blows a kiss* Never forget it, Big Lizard. Or I’ll ship your ass to El Salvador. 

Toren: I don’t want to talk to you anymore

Me: Fine by me

*Three minutes pass*

Toren: Soooo, how’s River going to get his again?

Me: Oh *shoos him away* Nothing much. Just in a little small femal…Oh. Shower time. Later *walks away*

*Toren shoots another fire ball*

ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ

Additional Scenes.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Suri screamed to the top of her lungs until she had no breath left. She inhaled deeply and let out another scream equally loud and long in duration.

In the back seat of Jack the car, Jime napped. At least until the ear piercing scream jolted her out of her sleep. Fangs out, claws bared, she was ready to kill anyone and everyone who was a threat. Looking around the interior, her vampire eyes allowing her to see through the too dark tint of the windows outside, she spotted not threat in eye sight. “WHAT the fuck are you screaming about?” she asked testily to her niece who sat behind the drivers wheel squirming in her seat hugging her new iphone 4 to her chest. “Avatar…The Legend of Korra,” Suri turned tears of joy filled eyes to her aunt. “It starts in April,” she squealed.

A cartoon. All that noise for a damned cartoon. 

Jime pushed Suri’s head into the steering wheel. 

Head met wheel but Suri was entirely too happy to car about the knot that suddenly formed.